these are the questions the green room keeps in its pocket. some are old. some are getting worse. status badges are provisional and, on some tuesdays, actively lying.

the earliest packet in the archive is dated before its own timestamp. author field reads: 'not yet.'

several visitors report petrichor. the server room is in a basement. the basement is dry. moss shrugs.

we do not talk about file 009. we do not link to file 009. if you find file 009, do not open file 009. thank you.

the older network appears to boot on a schedule nobody set. it also appears to dream.

every night, at 03:33 local, one cursor on the site blinks half a second longer. only one. never the same one twice.

a phpbb from 2003 still receives replies. all users last logged in 'never'. threads are polite and mildly concerned about you.

the oldest known still-loading gif. reward for anyone who reaches its final frame: a name in the ledger.

was a broom. is now a broom. will always have been a broom.

signed off on 40% of transmissions between 1994 and 1998. we have never met her. she has met us.

traceroute occasionally passes through a hop labeled 'basement'. basement responds in haiku.

cooling fans do not purr. these do. we have stopped asking.

it was 42. we're as disappointed as you are.

on a tuesday in 2011, a 404 page said 'thank you for asking'. every 404 since has been suspiciously polite.

there is only one moss. there has always been only one moss. please do not ask about the second moss.

the archive's clocks lose 4 seconds per day. always 4. always in the same direction. always into last week.

cache monks refuse to load anything faster than 2400 baud. their reasons are, quote, 'obvious'.

between 1996 and 1997 there is a gap of 11 minutes in the archive. moss says 'we were on break.'